How I stopped myself from binge eating tonight in 5 steps.
Trigger Warning + Disclaimer
We talk about food and body. We’re pretty unabashed in describing self-deprecating thoughts, binges, specific foods, and dieting.
Sugar Sober (it’s content and offerings) is absolutely not intended to substitute for psychological counseling, therapy, or professional health care advice.
If this is triggering for you and/or you need qualified, professional health care, we recommend you check out our Eating Disorders Resources page first.
I almost did it last night.
Hovering in my dark kitchen in bare feet, I squeaked open the snack drawer, hand plunging for the bag of caramelized peanuts like a dog nose to a bone.
I knew the play - shove them deep into my pajama pockets before my hubby comes out of the bathroom.
What was I going to do?
Run into the bathroom and guzzle them down like a Lady Packman? Time my chomps to exactly how long he typically takes to get ready for bed?
The old Hanna would have done just that - has done just that.
The old Hanna is the title-holding champion of that game.
But last night, I stopped.
Mid-reach.
I inserted a pause right before the action.
Tapped the breaks and interrupted the autopilot.
It’s taken me years of self-work, of mental and behavioral training plus experimenting and many, many failures, to insert that pause.
That pause, nearly undetectable by anyone living outside of my brain (which is literally everyone else), is the game changer.
That tiny inch of a pause allows just enough room for this question: Why?
Why am I reaching for the sweet, crunchy, salty peanuts at 11:00 at night?
And why am I going about it like it’s a naughty secret? Like a 15 year old sneaking dad’s vodka?
You see, my mom flying is in to visit me this week. And she’s staying for a month!
This is good. I love my mom, we’re that indie movie balance of mother-daughter but also besties.
But,
hosting anyone - even my beloved mama - plucks my anxieties like a banjo string.
I worry about being the perfect hostess, making sure any visitor is having a good time all the time. I over analyze the cleanliness of my house, the deliciousness of my dinners, the weather of my town, the pauses in conversation!
In the moment my hand pulled the drawer handle, I was seeking comfort and distraction from my anxiety. The crunch and surge sweetness - a moment to detach from it all and dive into sensory pleasure.
That habit runs deep.
But I know from doing that so.many.times. that the anxiety won’t be chased off by the crunch and surge sweetness. It will just add a hard layer of guilt and regret like the shell of an M&M.
So I paused and walked away. I assured myself I could still eat them in the morning if I wanted to.
The question is do I actually want them?
I padded into my bedroom and did my relaxation practices - calming music, writing, cuddling. Sometimes I talk it out - release the burden of secrecy.
Then, the morning dawned. I felt a completely different emotion - pride.
I’m proud of myself.
I’m empowered.
And let me tell you,
there is no taste sweeter than the taste of being in control of yourself.
The Crucial 5 Steps to Stop a Binge Before it Starts
PAUSE
Insert the game changer question:
Why am I reaching for [insert food here]?
Do you want it? Or are you feeling pulled, like a compulsion?
Why?
Acknowledging that this is an act of compulsion is actually a beautiful thing - even if the compulsion feels tight and itchy like a cheap sweater.
2. Give yourself LOTS of gold stars for this new awareness.
Like we always say, awareness is the first step toward change.
Inserting the pause literally rewires your brain.
For inserting the pause to become a new habit, it needs a reward - just like any new habit. It’s science, folks. And we’re sluts for psych science.
The more you celebrate this tiny pause, the more likely it is to happen next time, too.
3. Postpone your binge, even if just for a moment.
Test your edge.
Set a mental timer in your head.
Or even better, a physical one in your environment.
2 minutes.
10 minutes.
60 minutes.
What’s your edge?
Postpone having that binge food.
Sit with what you are feeling, thinking, and experiencing.
Like I mentioned, I use the “I can eat this tomorrow if I still want to” trick a lot. The magic ingredient of this trick, however, is that I actually mean it. I can have it tomorrow if I want it.
The tight, itchiness of the compulsion (i.e.: craving) doesn’t calm down unless I truly know I can have this food whenever I want. I’m simply choosing not to right now (this is also a sexy piece of science).
That 12 hour edge between now and tomorrow gives me time to pull my brain out of that snack drawer and back into my own head.
Check out this blog for 4 tips to not eat when you’re bored. It’s packed with insights for getting active when cravings hit.
4. Channel that energy elsewhere.
To successfully answer your game changing question - Why am I reaching for [inset food here]? - you MUST journal. Pen to paper. Carve your amorphous feelings into words on the page. Map your thoughts. Pull from deep into your well of emotions.
What is it that wills your hands to grab sugary, salty snacks?
A mild (or massive) panic?
Low simmering stress?
Bored?
Lonely?
Is this feeling new?
Or a recurring monster rearing its head again?
Name it.
We recommend you use the Sugar Sober Food Journal because it’s designed specifically for compulsive eaters, specifically for situations like this.
Even if you don’t eat the food right then and there, fill out a journal entry because it’s a major craving that needs a place to live outside of your body (hint: that’s why we include so many entries in both the 30 day and 90 day journals!)
5. Commit to steps 1-4.
The pause followed by reflection, journaling, and channeling your energy is a system. Done all together, these 5 steps are a game changer.
But it’s not a witches wand spell, one-n-done.
It’s only a game changer if you practice. (Like an athlete must practice more than once to improve their game. Get it? Okay that’s the extent of our sports analogies)
You will fail sometimes.
At some point….
You will consider pausing but your existing neurological habit loop of eat-first-think-later will take over.
You will pause and ask the game-changing question, but not postpone.
You will try to postpone, but get too uncomfortable and give in.
It’s okay!
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. My god, it’s okay.
Learning this 5 step system is like learning a new dance routine as a ballerina, or like Laura learning a new roller skating move.
It’s the consistent practice that matters far, far more than the perfection.
Commit to these steps. Make that commit right now, while you’re reading this. If you read all the way to this point, it’s because this is the system you need and you know it.
Trust us, we’re experts.
Seriously. In-real-life professionals.
Conclusion (It’s not what you’re expecting)
Today, I woke up, padded into the kitchen, opened that same drawer, and...well, I won’t lie - those caramelized peanuts stared my square in the eye. Like a toddler peering over an airplane seat - unflinching.
But, I saw those beady little legumes with a new perspective - one I could only have achieved through the pause, question, and energy channeling. Those peanuts just looked like a favorite snack, not a bag of tiny, evil seductresses.
Today, I ate the damn peanuts.
They were delicious.
Here’s the big difference:
I poured them into a cute serving bowl,
ate them near lunchtime,
and enjoyed them while I worked.
The entire scene was different from frantically pouring the whole bag into my mouth while hiding in my bathroom at 11 at night. What would’ve been a shameful secret and set-back became a sweet pick-me-up while I worked.
This time, I was fully in control of what I ate and why.
I was actually tasting them.
I was present.
I wasn’t hiding.
I eat what I want and don’t eat what I don’t actually want.
That’s all I ever wanted.
Pin this blog to come back to later!
Tell us in the comments,
When was the last time you felt the urge to secretly eat? What did you do? What step from The Crucial 5 Steps do you think would’ve been the most helpful?
